Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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