You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
