If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
