i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
