TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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