Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you would pick up someone in the library
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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