I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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