Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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