Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
