Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize