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my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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