I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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