Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
