I wish I could teleport
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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