and she was petting her beer can
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
