Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
