not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So much rum. So many feels.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
