john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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