Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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