You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
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Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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