Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
