have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
