Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
