# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't make out with my wife yet
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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