After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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