dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
