I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
