Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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