wat bout pragnant strippers??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize