he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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