I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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