I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
