Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
