Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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