if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Quick, to the slutcave!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize