She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
