you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
