You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
