we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
