Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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