oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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