I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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