that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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