so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
