From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
