it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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