I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
