god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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