Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
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I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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