Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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