pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
