sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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