It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
