We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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