ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize