what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
