Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Of course I have a pirate flag
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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