I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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