It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
