I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
