Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?

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  (303): she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out? http://tfl.nu/1nw7
  Replies (69) Good night (10296) Bad night (1238)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I hope you meant gum...

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  (410): We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day. (1-410): I hope you meant gum... http://tfl.nu/fcg7
  Replies (35) Good night (5051) Bad night (1044)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (9048) Bad night (2201)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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  (210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe
  Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (3662)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

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  (601): We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level. http://tfl.nu/1en2
  Replies (12) Good night (3486) Bad night (850)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (1328)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  Who the fuck is this

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  (561): Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake (1-561): Who the fuck is this http://tfl.nu/nqou
  Replies (13) Good night (4704) Bad night (821)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.

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  (504): Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch. http://tfl.nu/bzb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1439) Bad night (488)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

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  (206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a
  Replies (6) Good night (831) Bad night (453)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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  (651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou
  Replies (5) Good night (1206) Bad night (462)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"

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  (905): You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off" http://tfl.nu/v90r
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (429)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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  (970): he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands... http://tfl.nu/z4i5
  Replies (2) Good night (271) Bad night (458)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have a present for you

  (415): View more from California

  Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked

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  (415): I have a present for you (415): Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked http://tfl.nu/cd6u
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (192)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow

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  (330): lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow http://tfl.nu/f70c
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (266)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.

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  (619): I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to. http://tfl.nu/633r
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (316)

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