i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
