just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's what I'm talking about
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.