i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.